Beware of Destination Syndrome!

What is destination syndrome?

Actually, you’ve probably never heard of destination syndrome and for good reason. The phrase came to life during a client’s session in 2014, and for me, it became clear we all need to beware of destination syndrome!

I went to trustee Google just to see if others had made this connection with destination syndrome, I found a couple of articles, and not to my surprise, they made similar references to the dangers of this casually coined phrase.

So, I’m with a gorgeous client going through the groundwork of identifying her objectives and reasons for wanting to be more organised. We came to the section where I asked her to visualise what life looks like once you achieve the level of organisation you desire.

Try it yourself right now! Sit with your eyes closed and try to visualise what your home will look like, imagine the things you’d spend your time on and most importantly, how you will feel in this new organised life.

Once you’ve visualised all of that, explain in writing, “What does this accomplishment of organised living mean to you?”

Was that easy for you? Were you able to see a totally new life? Was there a limiting belief or thought that restricted you from imagining this new organised life?

The answers may be quite insightful and lead you to more understanding of your nature when dealing with clutter or disorganisation.

Destination syndrome shows up when we’re not able to see beyond a point until we’ve achieved X, Y and Z.  

You may hear these types of statements all the time:  I’ll be happy when I move house, I’ll ask for that promotion when I have that certification, I’ll be fitter once I’ve bought this exercise machine, I’ll feel more confident if I have the right dress, I’ll love myself more when I’ve lost weight. I think you get the idea.

How you can bring down the barrier of destination syndrome?

You can see that destination syndrome is coming from a place of anxiety and dissatisfaction with the here and now.

When we place our thoughts on only what the future will be, we are creating a barrier to experiencing presence and fulfilment now.

One essential fundamental needs to be understood at this point, the destination of your life is not one fixed place. Life is ever-changing and moving as we evolve and change, and we always do. This means what you fix your mind to be where you want to be today, next year may look totally different, knowing this allows room for expansion, contraction or even elimination.

The experience of presence is vitally important to help us make effective wholehearted decisions and create behaviours that serve us, and presence helps us to evaluate the process to get to where we truly want to be. Plus, we more fully experience the journey to our destination, helping us to slow time in our mind.

When in a cluttered mind or space, presence can be difficult. In being present, you take in the reality of your situation, which for most, can be highly confronting.

Avoidance and the use of “I’ll start when……” another destination syndrome thought could have been a way of coping in the past. Having experienced support and gentle guidance would be essential to help in this circumstance.

Easy Steps to Overcome Destination Syndrome:

1. Beware of destination syndrome speech and thoughts. Catch yourself if you hear the phrases, and turn them into more positive statements about what you’re doing right now that will support you. E.G., “I’ll be organised when I move house.” Becomes “I am starting to be organised with (insert area) now; I have more time for (insert favourite thing)”
2. Bring more presence to every day by listing all the things you’ve done that make you see progress in any part of life. Not skimming the things you do each day, no matter how small, you are inching towards a better tomorrow. Remember, the little and often technique will boost your mood and get you farther than taking giant leaps that always seem a little out of reach and leave you exhausted.
3. Increase your confidence and personal power so that the destination comes to you instead of you reaching out to the elusive destination. One of the aspects to beware of destination syndrome is making yourself smaller than you truly are. Ask yourself, “What is really getting in the way?” Is a lack of confidence, feeling powerless, the thing that is stopping me? Inject more self-confidence and power through your body. Our behaviour follows our posture. Use your body powerfully, and you will feel powerful.

Let me know how you go with the steps. If you need more help, please contact me. Don’t stay stuck in destination syndrome; there is a way to move forward and enjoy the journey with its lessons.