Could the Expectations vs Reality be Keeping You Stuck in Clutter?

Our expectations of how things “should” be done or how life “should” look could be keeping you stuck in clutter and disorganisation. Having an expectation set before we begin can lead to disappointment and disappointment of not meeting those expectations can lead to decreasing our motivation to try again and even our own self-worth.

If you’ve grown up in a household where high expectations of performance or standards were a daily occurrence, it is highly likely that you’ll carry these types of expectations with you to all parts of your life as an adult. Interestingly, there has even been recent research that suggests the expectations of parents for children’s academic performance has been associated with the increase of ADHD diagnosis. The reality of increasing a child’s academic performance lies in the type of learning through, free play, social interactions and imagination, the study suggests led by Jeffrey P. Brosco, M.D., Ph.D. I thought this was a good example of how the expectations vs reality could be keeping you stuck in clutter. The expectation can almost be the discouraging element to achieve the outcome you really want.

Here are my 5 signs that expectations are keeping you stuck in clutter:

1. The Plan.

Your plan to clear the clutter starts with taking off a whole weekend to tackle the clutter and have the expectation you will have the whole house completed in that time. Now of course this depends on how much clutter you are working with but for the majority of people this is not a realistic expectation. Reality is that you may be able to complete a spare room or perhaps a small garage in a weekend.

2. Dealing with Clutter.

Underestimating the emotional energy needing to deal with the clutter. For many of you the clutter may have been accumulating for years and there’s a tendency to think “Well, if I haven’t looked at it for this long I obviously don’t need it”. Yes some items will be exactly like that, but I guarantee you there will be items that are tough to let go of and the resurgence of memories and unrealized goals will come to the surface. These are very taxing on your energy emotionally so be prepared for the reality and give yourself the time to deal with these emotions, having a professional organising coach with you to help guide you through will aid this process.

3. I Should…

The frequent use of the phrase “I should….” sends off big alarm bells for me. I know I’m letting expectations of others and society influence me more the more I use this phrase. Take some time over the next day or two to listen to when you use the words “I should..” stop and consider is this something that comes from my choice of who I want to be or somewhere else?

4. Other People.

Now this might be a tough one to swallow but here goes – You have expectations of others around you that they can not meet. How did that feel? I hope not too harsh, but it is an important aspect of being stuck in clutter. It’s something I have personal lessons around especially as a coach and leader of teams in the past. Holding too high of an expectation for someone can be demotivating and even cause a brick wall between you and the other person. Because they don’t want to let you down they may not be truthful or hide things from you that could help you both get unstuck.

5. Valuing.

Placing high expectations on the value of things. This could be expecting to sell items you want to clear from your life but in reality it may take a long time to sell or more energy than you expected to get it sold. It could also relate to memorabilia in the family, what you think is of value to keep may not be seen of value to your children. Consider the exchange of your time also when it comes to being stuck in clutter, is your diary full of things that are not helping you reach your expectations. Is the reality of your endless to do list maxing out the time you have for the people and things you love?

Still Stuck in Clutter?

We need to have some expectations otherwise we wouldn’t be able to move forward. So keep your expectations in check to help you release from being stuck in clutter. Beware of unrealistic expectations, let go of the “I should…” and feel the ease and flow that will arise.

I would love to here your feedback on the 5 signs to being stuck in clutter, leave a comment below or email me privately Carolyn@outsidetheboxsolutions.com.au 

For more ways I can help you unlock clutter for good join my next workshop or one to one organising coaching program.