How to Say No

How to say no and feel good about it, is that even possible?

I admit it, I had to learn how to say NO too. I know so many of us do struggle with this seemingly simple word. Teaching someone how to say no has become an important part of helping my clients declutter their lives and take on the living with less lifestyle. Yes it is possible to say no and feel good about it I have seen it in action with people just like you.

How to say NO came up at one of my recent workshops. Participants all gave reasons to why they don’t say no, any of these sound familiar to you:

“I don’t want the person asking me to feel bad”

“I get bombarded and can’t get to explain why I can’t or say no”

“They might think I’m a terrible person if I say no”

“I don’t like letting people down”

“I like helping people”

No has such negative connotations for all of us. May be that’s because before we even learn to say the word we’ve heard twice as many times as the word Yes. Psychologists have even done research on how the brain reacts to the word No, it’s not good. If you like that sort of research here is a great article from Psychology Today you may like – The Most Dangerous Word in the World.

So a good reason to avoid saying this toxic word, perhaps?

What if you could reprogram your brain to start to see the good in saying NO? No could become your biggest ally in getting things done and reaching your most desired outcomes and goals.

Learning how to say no to the things that are not aligned with your happiest life is essential. How many times have you said yes to something and not long after kicked yourself for getting involved or taking on that item?

Here are my golden rules for How to Say NO and Feel Good about it!

1. Write out your goals for each area of your life don’t miss any parts. My list covers Health, Business, Relationships, Personal Development and Abundance. be as clear as you can about these areas and what will bring you the happiest life. Use pictures and symbolism to really connect regularly with these goals.
2. Have a Pause Button. If you feel pressured to make a decision it is quite likely to be tainted in some way. Apply your pause button whenever you have outside pressures “Can I get back to you on that?” “Sounds interesting, I’ll consider it carefully” “I am not able to give an answer to that right now”. If it is an opportunity you are considering be careful that your decision is not based on the fear of MISSING OUT in this case you’re applying your own pressure, step away and pause.
3. By pass NO with you’re own more positive phrases to say NO. “Just not now”, “Not at this time”, “Just not able to”, “Unable to right now” you can make your own up but hopefully these will kick start you to be able to feel less negative in saying No.

If you need to learn how to say no more often join me this month for an experiment in saying no.

I’m dedicating to being even more aware of situations, requests, demands, suggestions and opportunities where NO becomes the initial internal response. I’m doing it in reverse so that I can revert to seeking all the reasons, logic and alignments with my goals and journey to say YES.

Join the experiment on the Facebook page I’ll be adding some great insights and you can hear how others are putting NO into their lives. Come over and add a comment [social type=”facebook” opacity=”dark”]PLACE_LINK_HERE[/social]
or message me privately.

Just being more aware will give you more direction to saying Yes to the best opportunities and No to things that drag you further from your happiest life.

Last month’s workshop participants started using “Just not now” and their reports back have shown how much this one phrase can impact organising efforts and simplifying life. Check in with all workshop dates Here.

Being aware there are limits to space, time and where you spend your energy in your life is perhaps one of the defining moments of deciding to live with less.  I so look forward to you joining me on the NO experiment.

With infinite Peace & Gratitude,

Carolyn